realfrille

I guess I just don't think as much anymore.
I guess my mind's gone dull on me.

No, I don't even write anymore. I need to be able to take my time, think whilst typing, typing whilst thinking. The presence of someone else disturbs my thoughts, and I need to hurry. Knowing that any second I can get the question "what are you typing so much about?" ... The short answer "blogging", will lead to more questions, such as "about what?" ... And sometimes I just don't know what my fingers will produce until it's done.

Then again, sometimes, very short poetry will happen, right at the screen, to my amazement.

A new day is slowly waking, after a long, hard, night.
What you didn't expect at nightfall, might still happen before another day is born.
As I set my sails, to see where it will take me, I remember the old day, and what I thought was to come.

This, is a time of reflection, a time of time. Only time can tell me what's next, what else lies in the weave for me. And for you. We only live one moment, which, combined with all the other moments that have passed and will come to pass, make up a lifetime.

----


I've been spun around so many times now, seen patterns being repeated so many times.

Is it wrong to want a private life, whilst being in a relationship?
Or does everybody else report everything to their partners?

I can't believe that was what a real, healthy, relationship was. Me, feeling trapped under jealousy, fighting to keep a shard of independence. Him, thinking I'm always out to hurt him.
Yes, he told me how I feel and think. All that just adds to the notion that I've done the right thing. That we were not The Right Thing.

I'm single now.

And I need to find who I am now, again.